I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
