they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
