Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
