yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
