you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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