grandma shit on top of the toilet
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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