that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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