Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
