Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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