He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
