You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
