I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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