this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
