She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
