if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
