i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
