Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
