The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
