Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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