she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
