How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
