he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
