vagina is talking i cant
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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