hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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