Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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