I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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