He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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