Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
