I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
