Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
