I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My butt remains clenched, sir.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
