At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
