I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
