operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
