She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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