its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
