just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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