I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
