Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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