? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
