This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
