quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
