She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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