Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
