I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
be right there i have to get my cape
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
