i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
