just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize