i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
