It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
