I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
