I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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