I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
