Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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