I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
