did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
